Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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