You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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