just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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