dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
