Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
