did you get engaged???
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Randomize
