i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
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If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
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My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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