Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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