How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
