why didn't you poke me back
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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