dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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