You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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