so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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