People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
