so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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