At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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