Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
