i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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