he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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