he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
