I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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