Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
