Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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