White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize