u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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