we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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