chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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