i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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