Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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