Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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