First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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