It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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