it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
