hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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