Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
