The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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