1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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