It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Boobs speak an international language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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