Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize