Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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