You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
