you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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