the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
