I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize