Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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