i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize