Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
and she was petting her beer can
i will never coherently bang her
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
did i just pee glitter
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
