I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
