marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
