My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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