I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
