I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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