In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
