I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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