dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
