lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize