So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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