he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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