I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
