Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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